Bumped Read online

  “Did we?”

  I hold my hand up to stop his stammering. Ram needs me far more than I need him. He can’t go back to Goodside without me. And I can’t stay in Otherside with him. It wouldn’t be fair, not when I know that Jondoe is out here too. The temptation to be unfaithful—in my heart if not in action—would be too great.

  “Do you want to start over?”

  As the first tear falls down his face and splashes into his steepled hands, I know his answer.

  “Yes.”

  “Me too.”

  It’s finally time for me to assert my spiritual leadership. One of us has to.

  “Let’s go back home and have this baby,” I say. “Together.”

  WITH ZEN’S KISS STILL FRESH ON MY LIPS, I’M READY TO FACE anything.

  “Hello?” I call out as I open the front door.

  Before the vowel bounces its echo off the walls, I know my house is empty. I know that Ram has gone. And with a sudden spine-tingling chill, I know something else.

  Harmony is gone too.

  I walk, zombielike, to the common room, where there’s a note lying on top of the ergomatic couch cushions still dented by Ram’s bulk. It’s written on a page torn out of a Bible. Just the title page, nothing more, no verses offering clues to her state of mind when she wrote two words in a handwriting that I could easily mistake for my own:

  Forgive me.

  But I have forgiven her! Why didn’t she believe me?

  It’s true that Harmony shouldn’t have gone off with Jondoe like that. But she’s still my sister, maybe the only blood relation I will ever know. She must still think I hate her as deeply as I thought I did, that is, before I realized that spermjacking Jondoe was the best thing that ever could have happened to me.

  To us.

  Harmony and Ram couldn’t have gotten very far on foot, so I immediately take off after her. I fling open the front door, and facesmash right into a perfect set of pectorals.

  “It’s me!” Jondoe announces unnecessarily.

  I must say that crashing into the hottest RePro on the MiNet is not nearly as exciting as I thought it would be. Not now, after everything that has happened. He looks for seriously amped for a second before leaning in to get a good look at my freckleless nose. His whole body sags when he realizes that I’m not the twin he was hoping for.

  “You’re Melody,” he says flatly. “The one who’s trying to ruin me.”

  “I am,” I reply. “But I’m not.” I try to push past him, but he slings his arm across the door to stop me.

  “CONDOMS?!” His eyes bug out. It’s quite comical, really. I could make a lot of money selling a foto of him looking goofy like that.

  “I was only trying to get you two out of hiding,” I reply. “And it worked, didn’t it? You’re here.”

  He cranes his neck to stalk over my shoulder. “Where’s Harmony?”

  “She’s not here,” I say. “She just took off, and I was on my way after her.”

  “She ran off on you too?” he says. “She climbed out my window! My window!”

  He’s almost too impressed by her escape act to be upset by it. Almost. I realize I have no idea what really happened between these two. As queasy as I am to hear the details, I have to ask.

  “Why did she go out the window?”

  “She must have overheard me bullshitting your agent.”

  Lib found her before I did, as I knew he would. But I can’t worry about Lib right now.

  “About what?”

  “About tricking her into believing that I have God,” he says, visibly agitated. “The thing is, I was telling her the truth! Well, at first I was scamming. But then, I don’t know, something came over me and I wasn’t faking it anymore. It’s like I really felt God laying love for her in my heart, but I couldn’t let Lib know that!”

  As much as I don’t want to know, I have to know.

  “So you two . . .”

  I search for the most tactful way to say what I want to say, and abandoning that, find myself mimicking Zen’s finger-in-the-hole gesture.

  Jondoe flashes his famous trillion-dollar smile. “Did we ever.”

  Gaaaah.

  When I’ve recovered from gagging, I ask, “Do you think you bumped?”

  The smile disappears. A vein pops out of his forehead.

  “What’s it with everyone questioning my spermhood? I don’t turn eighteen for another six months!”

  I burst out laughing. I can’t believe this icon of maleness is acting so wanky. Shoko would never believe it.

  “Lib wants to cut you out of the deal, you know,” Jondoe warns. “He thinks he can make a side deal with the Jaydens for Harmony’s delivery.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I say. “And I don’t care.”

  “You don’t care?” Jondoe double-takes.

  “There’s not enough money in the world for me to bump with you.”

  I can’t believe I’ve just said this to the world-famous cock jockey. I expect him to be offended. But instead he says, “I know exactly what you mean.”

  He closes his eyes and rests his head on the doorframe. I seize this opportunity to lean in and take a quick whiff. You know. For Shoko. I can now confirm that Jondoe smells like every other teenage boy who hopes to jack his swagger by dousing themselves in bottle after bottle of Jondoe: the Fragrance.

  “When I first got into the business, my agent warned me against falling for a girl who would make me want to give it all up,” he says. “A girl who could see the real me, not just what’s in my file.”

  He looks up in agony. An alluring agony.

  “Your sister is that girl,” he says. “And you’ve got to help me find her.”

  Is Jondoe really smitten with Harmony? Or is he plotting with Lib? I don’t know what to believe.

  “Everything changed when I met your sister,” Jondoe says. “It’s like I didn’t even know myself until she came into my life.”

  I smile, thinking that Harmony did the same thing for me.

  “Please help me find her,” he says quietly. “Please.”

  I want to believe that Jondoe’s being sincere. But I’m hesitant to buy into his sad-eyed, pouty-lipped sexy act. Did Harmony find him irresistible because she didn’t know any better? Or because he really showed her part of himself that he’d never revealed before? I guess there’s only one way of finding out.

  “Maybe,” I suggest, “we can all help each other.”

  And that’s when the hottest RePro on the MiNet pulls me into those perfect pecs of his and squeezes me in gratitude.

  I’m sixteen. I’m not pregnant.

  But at this very moment, I feel like the most important person on the planet.

  Acknowledgments

  MANY THANKS GO OUT TO:

  Alessandra Balzer, whose no-nonsense editorial wisdom saved me—and this book. Period. And Donna Bray and everyone else at this fantastic imprint and HarperCollins at large for helping me make my debut as an “official” YA author.

  Heather Schroder at ICM, whose eye-popping response to my hypothetical (“What if only teenagers could get pregnant?”) began what I hope to be a long and rewarding relationship. And Josie Freedman, also at ICM, for trying to introduce my characters to a whole new audience on screen.

  Rachel Cohn, for convincing me that I was up to the challenge, especially at the overwhelming start.

  CJM, whose early insight inspired me so much more than he will ever give himself credit for.

  And CJM, for always asking, “How was your day today?” and reminding me that even a bad day of writing is better than not writing at all.

  About the Author

  MEGAN MCCAFFERTY is the New York Times bestselling author of the Jessica Darling series, which includes SLOPPY FIRSTS, SECOND HELPINGS, CHARMED THIRDS, FOURTH COMINGS, and PERFECT FIFTHS. She is currently at work on a sequel to BUMPED. You can visit Megan online at www.meganmccafferty.com.

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  Copyright

  Bumped

  Copyright © 2011 by Megan McCafferty

  All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. You have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  McCafferty, Megan.

  Bumped / Megan McCafferty. — 1st ed.

  p. cm.

  Summary: In New Jersey in 2036, when teen girls are expected to become fanatically religious wives and mothers or high-priced Surrogettes for couples made infertile by a widespread virus, sixteen-year-old identical twins Melody and Harmony find in each other the courage to believe they have choices.

  ISBN 978-0-06-196274-5

  [1. Pregnancy—Fiction. 2. Infertility—Fiction. 3. Twins—Fiction. 4. Sisters—

  Fiction. 5. Choice—Fiction. 6. Virus diseases—Fiction.] I. Title.

  PZ7.M47833742Bum 2011

  [Fic]—dc22

  2010030704

  CIP

  AC

  EPub Edition © 2011 ISBN: 9780062076977

  11 12 13 14 15 LP/RRDB 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  First Edition

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